


I was lying to you, baby, when I said my love grew cold.

by jongchansooing



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Canon Compliant, Deep Throating, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, LMAO, Lovers, M/M, Smut, Top Lee Taemin, anyways enjoy, choking on cock, i was far too distracted but whatevs i wanted to write, i was not in the mood for writing good smut honestly, im sorry for that i love this tall but smol angel, its so poorly written though im sorry, jongin CRYING, jongin dealing with depression, kaitae, really fucking sad for half the damn story and then the other half is just them fucking, so is jongin, so many kisses like everywhere, sorta..., taekai - Freeform, taemin and jongin are hopelessly in love, taemin is so in love it's gross, they get cute at the end again, this is so emo and gay, what r these tags anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 16:16:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11809611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jongchansooing/pseuds/jongchansooing
Summary: "What's wrong? You don't just up and decide that everything we shared over the years is over in the blink of an eye!""I didn't."Silence. He.. He couldn't mean this was something on his mind for a while now.. No, he just couldn't..or the one where Jongin's depression gets real bad and Taemin is just so in love and would "chase Jongin down to the end of the universe if he must"





	I was lying to you, baby, when I said my love grew cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a line from Wyatt's song "Attention".
> 
> Enjoy!

  _"What do you mean?"_  
  
_"I think you know what I mean."_  
  
_Silence._  
  
   "So that's just it then? We're done?"  
  
_"Please, please don't make me say **it** -"_  
  
_"Why are you doing this?"_  
  
_"Please-"_  
  
_"What's wrong? You don't just up and decide that everything we shared over the years is over in the blink of an eye!"_  
  
    _"I didn't."_  
  
_Silence. He.. He couldn't mean this was something on his mind for a while now.. No, he just couldn't.._  

 

* * *

__  
  
   Taemin wasn't sure which he couldn't believe more: the words Jongin had said or that he was still hurting over it months later as much as he did in the moment when Jongin said it was over-- _they were over_. It didn't make sense to Taemin. He knew Jongin and he knew it wasn't that Jongin lost his feelings over the years or that he never felt anything in the first place. The older didn't know what was going on with the younger and the worse part about it was there was nothing he could do with their schedules as busy as they are but Taemin needed to do something now--he was worried for Jongin.   
  
   As luck may have it, tonight he caught Jongin making his way through the hotel to his room after today's joint performances. No matter how tired Taemin was, he would chase Jongin down to the end of the universe if he must because he was so damn worried about his best friend--his lover. And that's just what he did, running after him until he caught up to him.   
  
   "Jongin-ah-" he cut himself off by the other completely disregarding him, it shocked Taemin at how the other showed no interest in him. Taemin let the thought of himself maybe being in denial pass through his mind quite a lot but it would leave as quickly as it came because he knew better of himself and Jongin. Knew that what they had was tangible, it was envied, it was beautiful. And Taemin knew Jongin was prohibiting himself from having it--from his happiness--all Taemin didn't know was the 'why'.   
  
   "Please," Jongin spoke weakly and suddenly after a few moments of them just standing in front of Jongin's door, Jongin facing the door and Taemin caging Jongin against the door, "Please go away.."  
  
   "No," Taemin said firmly, "You should open the door so we can talk with some privacy." Taemin whispered.  
  
   "Chanyeol-hyung, Kyungsoo-hyung and Sehun-ah are in here." Jongin spoke in a monotone, sounding as lifeless as he looks lately.  
  
   "Then let's go to my room," Taemin said but Jongin didn't move, his forehead had been pressing against the door, his gaze fixed at the floor right where it meets the bottom of the door. So Taemin tried again, pleading with the younger, "Nini, please come with me to my room, please."  
  
   Jongin was silent for a while but he eventually lifted his head to nod and then Taemin stepped aside to give Jongin room to move from the door. The two walked to Taemin's room in silence then. Once inside Taemin put his room card in his jacket pocket and then moved the jacket off and placed it down on a small table in his room. He motioned for Jongin to sit on the bed with him since he was sitting down now but Jongin just shook his head as he stared at the floor. Taemin noticed the younger was nervous, if Jongin's fidgety fingers were any indication but then the other shook his head again, more vigorously as he started for the door, saying, "I'm sorry, I think I should I go-"  
  
   "No, stay, please." Taemin's words were spoken in such a soothing manner, it did make the other hesitate and then stop, "What happened to you?" Taemin frowned, his voice still being soft in fear that if he spoke differently it would scare the other off. Jongin seemed so fragile.  
  
   "I-" Jongin choked on his words, letting his head drop, his back still towards Taemin.  
  
   Taemin got up and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around Jongin, "Nini, talk to me. It's just us here and you know me. You know I care about you. You know I'm in your corner."  
  
   "Taemin.." Jongin whispered and Taemin hummed to encourage the other to keep going, "Taeminnie.. I, I don't-" he choked up again, his breath sounding shaky. Taemin coaxed the other into continuing on by rubbing Jongin's hips above Jongin's shirt gently with his thumbs as his arms were wrapped around the younger. Which did help, of course it would, they knew each other like the back of their hands, sometimes they knew each other better than themselves. So Jongin continued, "I don't know what you're expecting me to say here, I don't know what-"  
  
  "Jongin, I want you to explain... this," he moved around to face the other, looking him up and down to gesture Jongin himself, "I want you to tell me what's happened because you haven't been yourself in months. Something is wrong, you walk around as if you're a zombie, incapable of feeling, you just.. Float on by, it's like you're not even here." Taemin sighed, "You've used our schedules as an excuse to avoid me and now we're touring together with all these other groups and you.. You've looked exhausted and not in the I've-worked-really-hard way but the I'm-so-done-with-caring-about-anything way." Taemin's lips twitched as he moved the other's face using a finger under the other's chin so Jongin was looking at Taemin now, "You're scaring me.." he whispered, afraid his voice might break if he dared anything louder and firmer than that, "I'm so worried about you."  
  
   Jongin just started crying then, overwhelmed by too many feelings, so Taemin pulled the other in close and held him tightly, "I don't know I just I've felt so alone I've felt so trapped in my mind I don't know what to do! Everything hurts and I just felt you deserved better than what I could provide to you. I didn't want to leave you, I just- I felt so bad. I felt like I was holding you back. And so then I completely shut you out because I knew you'd just have to put your arms around me and I'd never want you to let go and I just didn't want to be selfish. I'm so sorry, I-" he started sobbing then, unable to keep talking now.  
  
   Taemin's heart ached at how broken Jongin was, so Taemin picked Jongin up and carried him to the bed, laying him down. He removed Jongin's jacket and then he was laying on top of him, letting Jongin cling to him as he sobbed, "Nini, I'm here, I'm here now, I'm here always." he assured Jongin, pressing his lips to the other's neck and pressing chaste kisses there, "How did this all start?"  
  
   Taking a deep breath, Jongin tried to calm down enough to talk, "I'm not sure.. There was just so much with practice going on. I wasn't picking up on the dances as quickly as I usually do so I was getting scolded and then I'd hear people make remarks about us which usually don't bother me but I don't know. I was scared of us getting found out and then the company take repercussions to keep us apart to punish us. And I should have talked to you, but I just got myself stuck in my own thoughts and everything felt so bleak and hopeless." he paused at that word, "Hopeless. I- I let it all feed into my depression." he sighed and looked at Taemin, "I'm sorry.."  
  
  "Don't apologize, Jongin, I'm not mad at you. I just.. Next time something like this happens please come talk to me instead of shutting me out. I can help. I can help you with practicing your dances I can help with easing your worried mind and we can discuss our relationship and if we should be doing things differently. The company wouldn't dare come after us even if we did come out publically, we're important." Taemin wiped the other's tears away and then pecked his lips, "You're so important, you know that?"   
  
   Jongin gave a small smile then, "You make me feel so important."   
  
   "How about I make you feel more than that tonight? How about I make you feel loved."  
  
   Jongin swallowed but nodded, "Yes, please."  
  
   Taemin smiled and then he kissed Jongin deeply, not caring to take things slow. He wanted Jongin to feel so overwhelmed with ony good feelings, "You're gonna feel all of my love tonight." he assured the other before moving to pin the other's arms above his head, "Because I love you so much, Jongin, and I always will."  
  
   Jongin smiled against the other's lips, "I love you so much, Taemin, forever."  
  
   Kissing resumed them after loving smiles and loving glances were exchanged. Taemin then was undressing Jongin as Jongin undressed Taemin, the two rolling around on the bed as they did so. It had been months since they had this level of intimacy with each other, it'd been months since they had even been in a close proximity of each other. Soon enough all their clothing was off and Taemin had left the bed to go to his suitcase to get out a small bottle of lube. Once he came back to the bed he smiled at Jongin, setting the bottle of lube down on the small bedside table. Jongin climbed onto Taemin's lap after the older sat down. The younger was sucking bruises onto Taemin's collarbone and shoulders, careful not to make any marks on his neck but eventually they both were too into it that he ended up littering Taemin's neck, throat, shoulders and a good portion of his chest in hickeys. Taemin's moans would be worth the lecture in the morning. Before Jongin knew it he was being pressed down into the mattress and Taemin's lips were making their way down his body.  
  
  "Taem- Minnie, Minnie.." Jongin moaned out as the older decided to play with Jongin's nipples, his teeth nipping at the little buds as they perked up when he would alternate between which nipple got his mouth and which got his fingers. Jongin registered the other's mouth back on his neck, it was his turn to get littered in these purple bruises. Eventually Taemin decided it would be best to keep his mouth moving down again. So he kissed down Jongin's torso and then didn't hesitate to take the other's cock in his mouth. His tongue moving around the head before the tip of his tongue was focused just on the slit leaking precum. Then as he started taking the length further in his mouth Jongin was moaning out louder. He felt a hand his hit his thigh lightly a few times so Jongin knew that meant Taemin was ready to open him up. So Jongin reached for the lube on the small table and then brought it down for Taemin, who took the small bottle and Jongin then took hold of Taemin's hair and tugged it as Taemin showed his thanks by sucking harshly. Jongin was gasping and making all these delicious, delicate noises and Taemin thought he was hearing the most beautiful song being sung to him when Jongin kept going on, occasionally bucking his hips up. Taemin got a few fingers lubed up and then when Jongin felt a wet substance tracing down his perineum he knew exactly what to do. Jongin hooked his arms around the back of his knees and pulled his legs towards himself, knees moving to his chest as much as he could pull them. With an appreciative kiss to Jongin's ankle, Taemin pressed a finger to the younger's hole.   
  
   "Shh, you got this, jagiya." Taemin hushed and assured his beloved as Jongin whined while Temin slowly worked his first finger in, then his mouth was back to stretching around Jongin's cock. He relaxed his throat enough by the time a third finger was being pushed in to start deep throating Jongin.   
  
   "Taemin, please, yes yes yes! Please please more please Taeminnie, Taem, Taem-" Jongin was a mess as a fourth finger found it's way in and it didn't take long after that until he was throwing his head back and a string of broken moans left his lips when Taemin's finger's finally found his prostate. Taemin had been bobbing his head on Jongin's cock for a while now and he could tell Jongin was close. The poor younger of the two was almost crying from pleasure.  
  
  Pulling off his cock he spoke, his voice a little rough from so much heavy use, "Suck me off for a bit, jagiya?" And Jongin was keening, nodding so fast he might get whiplash. So Taemin let Jongin move to the floor after pulling his fingers out of him, Taemin at the edge of the bed now. Then Jongin was eagerly sucking Taemin off; this was Taemin's way to let Jongin calm down just enough that he won't bust a nut right when the older pushes pushes into him but also a way for Taemin to get his cock all slicked up. Plus, calling Jongin 'jagiya' always got the younger all giddy, soft-hearted and ready to do whatever Taemin wanted. The older rests a hand on the back of Jongin's head, Jongin just sucking delicately on the head right now. Taemin takes a firm grip of the back of Jongin's head now and bucks forward, forcing all of himself in Jongin's mouth. Jongin sputters and tightly grasps at Taemin's legs but he takes it. His lover knows his limits, knows that Jongin likes to be choked like this. Taemin moves back and let's Jongin breathe before doing it again a few times and then he let's a totally desperate and needy Jongin lick and suck all around Taemin's cock. It's so messy as Taemin watches, he, too, starts moaning the other's name, saliva running down Jongin's chin. But he pulls the other off after he's had a few minutes of being sucked off.   
  
   Then Taemin's helping the other back onto the bed, kissing his swollen lips as he moved the others legs to be around his waist, lining himself up with Jongin's hole and then pushing in. Jongin's fingers interlace with Taemin's before being shoved down against the mattress, his back arched up off the bed and the two only process each other in the moment. Nothing else matters to them. It's not long before they're breathlessly proclaiming their love for each other as well as moaning their words incoherently at ties but they wouldn't even need to speak to understand each other. They're soulmates, they have a bond beyond comprehension. They have a language of their own after knowing each other all these years. Eventually they're both finding their orgasms with each others names falling off their lips in needy moans. Then they're just there holding each other, neither wanting to move.   
  
   "I'm so in love with you, you know?" Jongin languidly kisses Taemin after the words leave his lips.  
  
   Taemin smiles and returns the kiss, "I know, I'm so in love with you too."  
  
   "Always?" Jongin snuggles up to Taemin after he pulls out and lays down, both deciding they can clean up in the morning.  
  
   "Always, my precious jagiya." Taemin presses a kiss to Jongin's forehead and not long after the couple falls asleep. Finally together again, as they should be.


End file.
